based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
