So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize