Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's official drugs can't kill me
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
