You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
