are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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