it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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