great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
