I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
