Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
