can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
