Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
