I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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