I feel great
I just peed on a car
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
