She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
