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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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