I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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