I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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