check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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