Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
