Sry I called you an 8
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
