oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize