ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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