There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
