my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
