I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize