Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
