grandma shit on top of the toilet
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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