i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
