your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
