I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
