Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
