He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
