the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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