My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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