i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
