3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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