420 ftw
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
