Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Oh god it's open bar.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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