There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
