I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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