everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
