Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
