but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
