upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
