When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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