my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
