he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize