i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
How's work?
Spinning.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
