I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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