I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
