so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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