On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
