thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
