OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
