I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
