fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
