me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
