the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
