Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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