Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
