That's intense
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
