We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize