Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
