sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
