If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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