i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just want nice things and good sex
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
